17th Sep - Farewell B1, Sentosa Weekend

Woke up mega early. Washed up and took a bus to the old ferry terminal for breakfast at Burger King. It was like a ghost town.

After breakfast we broke off for separate activities. Thomas, Henri and Malinda headed back to the mainland (love that expression) for a movie. The rest of us went back to the chalet so that Gelene could take a rest as she was a tad under the weather. Oh yeah, Chris and KC disappeared before anyone could say, "Where?" KC to do exercise with his running mates, and Chris back to work.

At the chalet we practised our songs for Chris and signed off the drawing. Gelene and Steve bought a bear for Chris from the Esplanade which was tailor-made. They chose clothes which resemble his usual ensemble (a hooded jacket and berms, plus a backpack) and named it Cuddly Onn Soon (wrong spelling though, should be Oon Soon haha). There is this recording device into which we could record messages for him. We gathered round in a circle and sang into the recording machine:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

It worked!!! Dead pleased with ourselves. Guessie and Susan joined us some time later. We left the chalet, passed by the playground again and the guys had their turn of fun. Later we trooped to the Luge and some of us tried it.

Practising the songs at the chalet.



At the playground. Someone commented they looked like pieces of meat hanging at the butcher's... very true hahahaha!!



YK, Jon and Rachel at the Luge.



KC at the wheels.



Later met up with Wilfred, Dave and Christine. Steve, Wilfred and Jon played some volleyball while the rest of us sat and watched them to give 'em an ego boost. The volleyball quickly turned into football and dunno what else. I was incredibly sleepy.

Continued walking along Siloso beach... stopped by this trapeze thing but it looked a bit boring. Continued wandering, until we finally settled on going to Fort Siloso. At the entrance we decided we didn't want to pay, and so decided to go for a drink at the beach bar. Indisputable proof that we value beer over history... haha!

We took a respite at the bar. The sound crew were doing sound check and making a din. Some of us broke off for a game of pool.

Not sure why, but I was very restless that afternoon. Didn't want to talk much. Same as the night before. CG thought I was tired (which I was), but I'm really in one of those classic spirited-away moods. I have this amazing propensity to dislodge myself away from reality and my surroundings and think about other things. But anyway, think I was feeling a bit down at the separation of the care group. I've talked to some about it, but don't feel like writing it here. So, pardon.

Evening came, and the rest of the CG returned. KC and some others went to buy food. We gathered by the beach. The beach mats were so small they almost inspire commiseration heheh. Thank God we managed to get two tables. The guys mixed the drinks, but I didn't get to try YK's signature beer + wine concoction (or maybe I tried it but couldn't taste the beer ha!). Elaine made her trademark salad, and we had a hard time mixing the veg with the croutons and bacon bits... in ziplock bags!

Two dogs we saw along Siloso beach - ain't they lovely?



Pic at Siloso Beach.



On the choo-choo train.



And then, affirmation time. Hahaha... this CG never manages to pull off any of its tricks. Recalled the time we wanted to give Elaine and Chris a surprise at the church camp (bought them a gift-pack of raisins, milk, shampoo (???), tongkat ali, and the like) and it turned out to be a major screw-up. This one was not much better. We pretended we were having a belated birthday celebration for Steve (Tuesday was his birthday methinks) and everyone gathered around so as to sing him a song. But the birthday boy had to play the guitar himself??!!? Ooi, it was too easy for Chris to see through the ploy.

Anyway, we broke into song - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, followed by I'll Be There. The second song sounded like a lamb being led to slaughter. But it's the thought that counts, right? Amen!

I think to get this CG to get together and sing songs, especially mawkish lyrics like, "And I'll give all the world tonight/ To be with you" is already a majorly feat in itself. And testament of our love for our dear CL. Yep Chris, we love ya. Really.

Beach dinner.



Another shot.



Say cheese!



The guys.



And we gave our affirmation to Chris. Was very touched by Gelene's heartfelt expression of thanks when she recounted how Chris helped her tide over a bad patch last year (Chris was flabbergated when he saw she left him 21 mis-calls heheh). And Rachel's affirmation too. Malinda's was interesting as well - she mentioned that when she first joined the CG, she felt very lonely cos nobody really talked to her. Everyone knew she had been in Hope for eons and so assumed she would be alright. I had similar first impressions of the CG. I remember our first lunch between EC2 and their EN CG. I could only remember Dave, KC (cos I was sussing out who stays in the West so as to identify taxi khakis), Chris (can't miss the CL) and Jane (who was the only one who talked to us!!). Sheesh, are they unfriendly or what... heheh.

Anyway, back to affirmation. I said that Chris is an excellent leader, and that he's ever so good-natured. There was once when we were back-stage and he was blocking my way on the staircase. Being crabby cos it was early morning, I gave him a "hey, move it" flick of the hand and he laughed. Heheh.

But must say that YK's testimony during church camp was still the most touching of all (of course, coming from YK ya know!! =P).

Chris then gave us his last pearls of wisdom (ahem). Can't remember what he said of all of us, but this is my best recollection:

KC: About how he was shocked when he heard that the director of CSC was joining his CG. But grateful for all his help and support as CLA.
Wilfred: Despite being in different CGs now, miss him a lot. Appreciate the times of coffee, catching up together.
Christine: Despite not being around much in Singapore, with her shuttling in and out of Cheng Du and all that, very thankful for the friendship.
Gelene: Called her Lim Lim. Recalled the times when she first joined Hope and was very exact about standards (hangover from City Harvest haha!), but how she has gone through some difficult periods in life and grown.
Thomas: That he is a very deep person, with a propensity to share very incisive thoughts. Enjoyed conversing with him.
YK: Shared with us that when asked who is one person he'd share the rest of his life with, YK replied Guessie. Awwwww...
Me: He started with, "You, oh yes, YOU!" Told me although I can be very serious, I also share deeply about my life. A few aspects of my life are good, but encouraged me to keep growing in Christ. And finally, he told all of us that when I first joined the CG, YK was asking why I always look so constipated. Thanks YK hmmm!! You are forgiven, by the way (haha!). But it's true. Can't help it, there are times when I can't be arsed to look friendly. But no worries, I don't bite. =)
Rachel: That God is not done with her yet. Somehow, he feels that He will bring her back to the proximity they once enjoyed.
DJ: That there is potential unleashed still, encouraged him to continue to persevere and grow in the Lord.
Steve: Encouraged by how he has come into the core team to serve. That despite having gone through some difficult periods, he made the right choice.

We then gave him the card (made him identify each of the cartoons), and the bear (took a long time to press the button to get the recording going but finally it worked).

Enveloping our CL in a mellifluous chorus.



Help!! My ears are bleedin'!!



The teddy bear with the You Are My Sunshine song.



Drawing for Chris.



Just realised we didn't take a CG photo together. Well, here's a replacement - taken at Church Camp 2005.



Back at the chalet, Chris played Santa and went around distributing gifts. He gave me Aerosmith CDs. When I tore opened the wrapping paper, I saw some gargoyle lookalike and thought, "A satanic present... well well!" hahaha. By the way, the present stemmed from one of our CG's discussion over music late at night at Seah Imm food centre methinks. I remarked I like Aerosmith's Hole In My Soul. Shucks... I should have said I like Chanel bags or Gucci shoes or something. =P

And so wrapped up the night, and with it, the vestiges of AG3NG9B1. =)

Thanks everyone, for that night, and all the memories.

16th Sep - Farewell B1, Sentosa Weekend

Wish I'd done this earlier, but simply couldn't find the time. Anyway, here goes another entry, regrettably back-dated.

16th Sep (Friday) - Took leave for the day ('bout time too eh). Met up with YK at World Trade Centre (not sure what the building is called now, I think the bad geriatric habit of locking oneself in memory lane and insisting on calling things by their old names is getting to me) at around 2pm. We were supposed to meet Gelene as well but her maid had dumped her bag into the trash bin and she was trying to retrieve it. YK mused that it can only happen to Gelene... heheh.

Went supermarketing at Cold Storage. Bought drinks, snacks and such. Couldn't find high-class, healthy, less-than-0.01%-fat snacks for KC though. YK went off for ice-cream whilst I waited for Gelene.

After she arrived, we drove to the chalet. Thinking about the scene when we laid eyes on the building makes me laugh. Ok, it went something like this:

YK: Where is it? Where is it?

(We saw a stately row of houses, resplendent in white)

Peishan and Gelene: Think it is the one in front (that's the Tourism Academy, not the chalet... unfortunately). Wah... quite nice and posh...
YK: Izzit? Don't think so...

(Car took a turn. A dilapidated, dingy, bedraggled building, with paint peeling off the walls and moss-stained pillars, loomed ominously into view. A thick morass of shubbery grew around it. It looked as though it were built in the Stone Age or something.)

YK: Eh... I think it is this one...
Gelene: Cannot be lar... so old and run-down one meh...
Peishan: Looks like a lot of lizards...

A rickety sign read: 13 Larkhill Road. The truth hit home.

Dead silence. You could hear an ant breathe.

Gelene and Peishan: Wah lau!! Really leh!!!

And so it went. We resigned ourselves to our fate, braced ourselves, and got outta the car. Couldn't find the entrance. I called the camp administrator, Fook Loy. Finally managed to locate him.

Fook Loy was a cheery chap who was amazingly helpful. He led us to our rooms, gave us the bed-linen, a thermo flask, two mattresses free of charge, tonnes of toilet rolls and upgraded us to bigger rooms with en-suite toilets (let's hope the boss doesn't read this heheh). YK and him struck off a conversation since they were both ex-GE employees or something.

The rooms were alright. Clean toilets - check. Air-con works - check. Clear tapwater - check. Lizard-free - check. For now.

YK, Gelene and myself stayed in for the afternoon - thinking about the programme, wrapping the drawing, coming up with the songs... we selected three initially:

1) Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship (incredibly cheesy lyrics, but great for camaraderie nights like ours)
2) With Or Without You by U2 (rejected on the basis of dodgy lyrics "On a bed of nails/ She makes me wait" and the fact that we couldn't sing it without sounding like a bunch of monotone, cryogenically-frozen rabbits)
3) I'll Be There by Escape Club

Gelene and myself in the chalet room.



YK, KC and Henri by the bottle tree.



The smell of Jon's bad breath got to Chris.



KC - Posing for GQ?



Malinda and Rachel. Love the ribbon, by the way.



Evening came, and we took a lazy stroll to Coastes (the restaurant Malinda recommended) where we would meet the rest of the CG. Halfway there, we spotted a playground and got onto this funny contraption which resembled a merry-go-round. It was an incredibly painful experience; my butt hurt like crazy.

Waited for a mega long time. The song "Singapore Town" was playing as background music at the bus-stop. Extremely irritated.

Finally, we managed to gather in the restaurant. It was a pretty nice hangout, and part of it was located on sand, with lazy beach chairs and tables sprawled luxuriously around the area. I guess if there's still daylight, with a naughty breeze dancing around and the gentle wave lapping the shores, complete with Groove Armanda's song Lovebox playing in the backgound, it would be perfect.

We ordered a sumptuous dinner - ribs, salad, pizza, chicken wings, and the like. The ribs were tops - smokin', great BBQ sauce, tender, succulent... yummmmmy.

Departed the restaurant to dump our bags at the camp-site. Decided to do our night hike. We took the back-door route, and Thomas claimed that the rear quarters of the camp-site were reported to be haunted cos someone had died there. I was more worried about lizards though.

It turned out to be less of a night hike than a leisurely stroll. We ambled to the southernmost tip of continental Asia (ain't that a misnomer, Singapore is an island and hence, is located off continental Asia!! But I shall not demur with the geography experts). The bridge was beautiful. We did the usual rocking routine (Don't people grow up? Haha!).

Went on top of a viewing tower; was incredibly crammed there. Steve was trying out his binoculars. Not much of a view though. In the day it looked pretty nice and harboured some vestiges of Carribean-likeness, but the fleet of hideous ships spoilt everything.

Sat on some rocks and chatted. And then, went home. I was a bit surprised... it was barely 12am!!!

This CG needs more Red Bull heheh.

After dinner photo.



Chris doing his best Quidam impression. Sorry brother, ain't gonna work.



Picture at the bridge.



Ooi Steve, who ya checkin' out huh?



Funny faces galore!

Artwork - Samwise Gamgee

I love Sam. Samwise the Stout-hearted. The blumbling, taters-growing gardener. The friend with the beautifullest soul.

Here is a drawing of Sean Astin as Sam, my favourite character in LOTR. Drew it on a hot summer's night in London (when I was flat-sharing in Bethnal Green).

Passion Of The Christ - Review

Today in church Pastor Lawrence showed a clip from the movie Passion of the Christ. I grimaced in my seat throughout the viewing.

But this reminded me of a review I wrote of the movie when it came out. I was in the US then, and I remember the cinema being packed to the brim. Whilst driving home, my housemate and I were exceptionally quiet. I can't remember whether I cried or not during the movie. But I do recall being thoroughly revulsed by it all.

Anyway, here's what I wrote of the movie back then.
_______________________________________________________

First of all I'd like to say that watching the movie is an ordeal. I don't mean it in a necessarily negative way, what I meant is that it presents to the audience such an in-your-face spectacle of violence that it provokes powerful reactions - you squirm in your seat, look away, some weep, some are emotionally depleted, but I bet all of us in the theatre were thinking, "Please, STOP, show me something else."

After the trial by Pontius Pilate, Jesus (Jim Caviezel) was taken to the torture chamber, wrists clasped in metal, back outstretched as his torturers wielded their canes sadistically. After flogging Jesus with canes, they proceeded on to scourge him with whips tipped with sharp metal, but not before giving the audience a preview of the intense pain that Jesus was about to suffer. One soldier tested out the cat o' nine tails by lashing it onto a wooden table - and upon retrieving the whip, the sharp claw-like metal parts ripped up bits of wood. After the flagellation we see a thoroughly bloodied Jesus carrying the cross on the way to be crucified, scenes that inspire pity and revulsion, as he tripped repeatedly under the weight of the wooden cross while at the same time being mercilessly whipped by the Roman soldiers as he coughed up more blood.

I think by this time the audience was suitably revolted and nauseated by the surfeit of gory images thus far, and were glad that the ordeal was about to be over. Well, not really. What followed were scenes of the crucifixion, shot in painful, lingering, almost unbearable detail as the soldiers busied themselves with pounding the nails into Jesus' palms and feet (the thudding of the hammer upon nail really resonated in my ears), Jesus' body hanging on the cross in full, horrible detail as the audience tried their darndest to stomach every laceration and trace of quivering white flesh exposed as the skin spilt after multiple lashes. After he breathed his last breath, you feel an overwhelming sense of relief that it is FINALLY over. Er... no, not before a soldier stabbed his spear into Jesus' side and his blood, literally, rained on the kneeling Mary and Mary Magdalene.

That's the violent bit. Mel Gibson launches a merciless, full-frontal assault on his audience's sensibilities with images of barbarous torture. It is terrifying, graphic, harrowing, excruciating in its detail, extremely voyeuristic, and both repulsive and heart-rending at the same time. I'm not saying it is too violent. Jesus' true crucifixion was perhaps more savage, we would never know. But it is successful in one thing: The violence is extremely confrontational. It is certain to provoke a reaction, be it good or bad, because there is something very incendiary in making someone sit through two hours of a man put to such graphic brutality, especially more so when he, supposedly, was sinless and went through all this for you, the sinner. One can't possibly watch this movie and come out of the theatre with a neutral response.

Which leads me to the question: What is Gibson's intention for this movie?

Jim Caviezel as Jesus.



To me it didn't really have a strong evangelical tangent - it is not an utterly depressing movie, it is possible to feel uplifted by the passion and agape love of Jesus but the film primarily focuses relentlessly on physical violence and grim, macabre horror. I wouldn't say it is gratuitous, but it is sufficient to thrust its audience into a sombre, penitential mood. So ok, we feel very sorry for the man being flogged, but what then? Is he God? What is the connection between all this blood and the message of redemption? What is the point of all this violence?

If you're schooled in Christian teachings, you would probably grasp the point of Jesus' sacrifice because you would already be familiar with the context. But the average, non-Christian viewer is probably left more with the savagery of Jesus' death than with conviction that he is indeed God incarnate, for the movie never explicitly addresses the questions regarding Jesus' deity. In short, the movie does not necessarily engender a spiritual response.

Even the resurrection scene was very brief - as if the movie-makers were taking extra care not to be self-serving, to allow the audience to formulate their own responses instead of shoving the usual Christian conclusions down their throats. The film offers little overt expository on the Christian themes of forgiveness, sacrifice, etc. What the movie succeeds in doing is to sufficiently jolt the viewer into forming a reaction, but it is surprisingly neutral, inconclusive and evasive in its shaping of the nature of that response.

As for the violence, I personally think that the grostesqueries have to be there for a realistic treatment of the subject matter. What is more, there is a difference between glorifying violence and showing the suffering caused by it. Passion is of the latter. It is not typical video-game like carnage. Neither is there anything lyrical about its depiction of violence. It is raw and explicit in its portrayal. The sheer amount of violence makes its audience blanch, and maybe it is so forceful to the extent that it may badger some into a penitential disposition, but one is also amazed by the unflinching frankness of it all.

In the end I can only see it as a recreation of the Crucifixion. To that end the movie serves its purpose, and it is well done, reasonably faithful to scripture, and the acting is commendable, especially Hristo Naumov (Pontius Pilate) and Maia Morgenstern (Mary), with a few bold, non-Biblical but nevertheless interesting touches like a slithering, androgynous, minimalist Satan.

But it is not a movie about the life of Jesus, nor does it convey much about the work of redemption that he was sent to carry out. A snapshot, yes, but not the essence. The greatest part of the Gospel is the resurrection, not the crucifixion, and The Passion of the Christ never fully makes the connection. I can't say it has failed, for it appears more likely that it does not want to make the connection. So ultimately it is a harrowing, heart-ending portrayal of the final hours of Jesus' life, but the message you draw is very much your own.

Do we lose sight of Jesus victory? The movie drops hints of it, but never fully fleshes it out. There are moments of triumph – for instance, when the thief beside him repented, we see the gleam in Jesus' eyes as he quietly celebrated the winning of another soul. The victories are there, but they are subtle, and somewhat muted, when compared to the violence.

My personal view is that, no, The Passion of the Christ is not a spiritually uplifting movie. But I also feel that it was meant not to be that way. To me, it is not so much a movie about Jesus' victory (the audience knows that he wins, but that is not the crux of the film). I thought Mel Gibson's choice of portraying only the final hours of Jesus' life - where we see him at his most vulnerable, most dishevelled, mocked by the crowds and languishing in indignity - that in itself speaks volumes about what Gibson's intention for this film is.

Jesus' victory is not the point Mel Gibson wanted to make in Passion. Previous films about Jesus focus on the positive, upbeat aspects of his ministry. We see Jesus breaking bread for the multitudes. We see him healing the sick. We see him rebutting the Pharisees with godly wisdom. But these films tend to gloss over the crucifixion. By focusing on the crucifixion to the near exclusion of the ministry, Passion of the Christ makes a very pointed comment - that Christianity is not a bed of roses - it, literally, comes with its cross to bear.

Unearthing... Me

Felt a bit despondent over the weekend. At times the magnitude of certain things don't hit you until the time draws near - and then you feel as though the air is knocked out of you with a deliberate, excruciating slowness as it approaches. Quite like watching a train crash in slow motion and hearing the prolonged, sickening, nerve-grating screech of metal upon metal.

Must say Pastor Lawrence's prophecy and Pastor Jeff's preaching on Sunday was particularly pertinent. Something to the effect of not relying on people, but on God. I muse at how, sometimes, we embark upon lingering, protracted episodes in our lives, only to return to the sober realisation that in the end, it really comes back to God. It's as though the cul-de-sac you thought you were trapped in finally turns out to be a circular sojourn... and you are ported back to the starting point that ultimately, it is all about God.

And then suddenly Perspective bids a wry smile. All at once, Problems become so trifling. Everything else simply darts out of view in an whirlwind blitz... and the view is clear again.

Reminds me of the scene in Jumanji when all the animals are sucked back to the board game actually.

Anyway, I feel like kicking myself for taking such an inordinate amount of time to learn this lesson. How many times have I heard it all before, "It is about God, not us"; "I'm coming back to the heart of worship/ And it's all about you/ It's all about you Jesus"; and all the other familiar resonances... but yet I was patently oblivious to it.

Or perhaps I deliberately chose not to listen.

Perhaps I am an inherently impatient person, always looking for short-cuts, always wanting to find out what the answer is... and ended up missing the forest for the trees.

On that note, thought it'll be interesting to pen down what we did last Saturday. We had a Unit Core Team meeting and did a personality test. There were five types of personalities:

1) Competing
2) Collaborating
3) Compromising
4) Avoiding
5) Accomodating

I scored the highest in Competing (94%). It matches the Choleric type.

But come to think of it. I don't think of myself as a particularly competitive or coercive person (heh of course). I'm generally agreeable on most fronts. I don't argue a lot. I treat people with a fair amount of cordiality and respect.

Or perhaps it really is this: I'm a pretty aloof person when it comes to most things, but when it boils down to the few things which really matter to me, it would take mammoth, gargantuan effort to get me to budge or relent on my views.

I don't see this as a bad thing necessarily. When push comes to shove, one has got to make his stand. After all, what are we without our convictions and beliefs? Mere reeds in the wind, tossed at will by the inexorable, callous and often erroneous gale of mass opinion.

Perhaps that's why I see democracy as such a defective concept, but that's another subject matter to be expounded in Entish.

Anyway, I do have my softer moments. But most of the time, I am fairly "blokish", as one friend calls me. I have an ability to compartmentalise my thoughts and rationalise unhappiness away. I am logical, analytical, cogent, sensible.

But when I pick up a pen to write, when I hear myself think in the quiet of the night, when I am blissfully trapped between sleep and consciousness while listening to music, when I envision images in my head and I give life to them by doodling long, lazy curves and shapes, when I hear the familiar verse of a song which hearkens back to a particularly acute memory... that's when creativity precedes logic, and when emotions and thoughts are given free reign. And I love that liberation.

By the way, I also feel like ranting about George Bush, but am almost certain that I am devoid of the energy to finish my post should that transpire.

Poem - Glen VS Pila

Here's a poem I wrote a while back, dedicated to two of the most intelligent and humorous guys out there, both prime GQ material in their own right. So...

Standing in the red corner, weighing 2,500 Danish cookies, we have the maestro of verbosity and Narcissus-incarnate, widely known to prefer self-portraits over mirrors* and to comb his hair with an eggbeater every morning to get that oh-so delectable, untamed look - Glen Mikkelson!!!

And in the blue corner, brimming with piercing acerbic wit and decked out in swanky sardine juice-stained apparel, we have the stout defender of all things American, the commie-bashing, tree-burning, skirt-chasing Pila!!!

* Courtesy of Pila

Now let the fight commence...

==============================================

Glen VS Pila

Thine eyes shall behold the glory of Glen the Challenger
He's one fine dude ya'know, of this the ladies will concur
He's Danish - all egg and butter and one teaspoon vanilla
Sound forth the golden trumpet for his swooners are astir!

His gait is proud, he roareth loud, his pants are set ablaze!
The maidens sigh, for love is nigh, so bewitched by his gaze
"Isn't he cute? Chest so hirsute! Be still my beating heart!"
"Oh no, he's mine! For him I'll pine, be off with you... you tart!"

But hark! What's this? Something's amiss! The sudden roll of drums!
With steps of gloom, with tramp of doom, the mystery figure comes
His sword unsheathed, all poised to cleave, his mace he swingeth forth!
The damsels hush, though some doth blush – it's Pila, wreathed in wrath!

O Pila! Mighty poster from which pregnant posts are birthed!
Seeds of thought thee doth germinate, with such pizzazz and verve!
We prostrate ourselves to thee, thy thought keen as a lance
For thou art truly flawless (just one point though – he can't dance)

And Pila spake unto Glen: "Begone! Witless challenger!
Lest I smite thee with my wit, and rend thy house asunder.
Ere Microsoft or Bill Gates' coif, ere Windows 98
Already I was crowned the king, the king of all debate!"

But Glen just laughs, and deems it daft, for confident is he
That he can beat, and then unseat, this foolish hillbilly
"Thy time is near, for too much beer, hath addled thy small brain
Fee fie fo fum, my reign is come, Glen the Great is thy bane!"

And so henceforth begins the tale of Pila versus Glen
Of love and hate more intense than that of J Lo and Ben
So come hither, sit thyself down, by the fire you and me
They're both top-rate, they both are straight – who will win? We shall see!